What is Truckstop Restroom Vending Machine Press?
Truckstop Restroom Vending Machine Press is a publisher of printed matter on a variety of interesting and utilitarian topics. Welcome! We are glad to have been found, by you. (This answer can also be found on the home page of our website, as a courtesy to you. Thank you!)
Does TRVM Press have a mission statement?
Yes!
What is the mission statement of TRVM Press?
“It is the mission of Truckstop Restroom Vending Machine Press to publish printed matter on a variety of interesting and utilitarian topics; to distribute these printed matters via the efficient network of truckstop restroom vending machines; to augment the truckstop restroom vending machine network with other disseminative means; thereby enriching the lives of human persons who are exposed to our “fine books for reading“.
Why are you doing this?
WE LOVE BOOKS! Books are a quaint and venerable technology dating back since before there were trucks. The advantages of a book include long battery life, nearly silent operation, compact design, rapid change from offensive to defensive posture, flammable, you must use your brain to read the book (exercise), high informational density, and also there are others! Books are excellent objects, full of wonder and patterns. Why would you not like books, unless you are forced to move many thousands of them against your will?! We will not make you move many books. We don’t even know where you live!
Where is TRVM Press located?
Please do not ask us this! Okay.
I have enjoyed books by TRVM Press and have a book of my own that I think would be “fitting good” for your library of printed matter. How can I become a published author of TRVM Press?
First, thank you for enjoying whatever books you have read by Truckstop Restroom Vending Machine Press, although we knew you would find them pleasurable. It’s our way!
If you have a personal tome you have written (though preferably it is typed or in a digital format), TRVM Press may be interested. Understand that TRVM Press is very selective about what it chooses to bear its mark. We would love to publish everything! But we cannot. However though, here are some questions to look in the mirror and ask yourself before you submit a manuscript to us.
- Is this book an original book, i.e. is the book you wrote the first time the words and letters of the language you used were arranged in that exact sequence? Please check before you send! It will save time, and will avoid enraging us.
- Is your book about a subject that is not already covered by another TRVM book?
- Is your book about truckign, but in a new way?
- Is your book intended for human persons, and not (for example) people that are not humans? (This is not a barrier to submission, but you may want to think about it for marketing purposes.)
- Does your book contain Dracula? WE CANNOT PRINT THIS BOOK.
- Do you feel your book is an extension of your non-physical parts?
Once you have answered all these questions in the mirror, the next step is to start a dialogue with TRVM Press. Use our convenient Contact form for this purpose. From there, who knows? Maybe at some point in the future, you will be in a truckstop restroom, looking your own book square in the eyes as it rests inside a vending machine (the book’s eyes are figurative). What a treat that will be!!
How can I determine my truckign school?
Knowledge of one’s truckign school varies from person to person. Some are born knowing. Others must discover their school through self-reflection and occasionally travel. Some must ride the Harrow into the Shady Places and await enlightening. Others may never know, because they deny their truckign essence. Good luck!
What is “The Event”?
Something that happens!
I read a fine book by Truckstop Restroom Vending Machine Press and now I can’t stop crying. Why am I crying?
We don’t know! Maybe you were moved by the book in an emotional fashion? It’s possible. We can’t tell from where we are at what causes your crying, or even if your crying is positive or negative. Have you been exposed to allergens or chemical irritants? Send us a vial of your tears (at least 300 mL, please) and we can do a more thorough analysis. Then we will be moving in the direction of answers about your crying, or we will still not know anything but we will tell you.