Nonfiction – Truckstop Restroom Vending Machine Press https://trvmpress.com Sun, 17 Jul 2016 05:14:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 170345415 Field Guide to Complicit Entities https://trvmpress.com/titles/field-guide-to-complicit-entities/ Tue, 16 Feb 2016 03:42:58 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=97

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]]> 97 House? Boat? HOUSEBOAT!! – Living “Off” The Land https://trvmpress.com/titles/house-boat-houseboat-living-off-the-land/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 07:34:10 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=27 Did you know that over seventy percent of Earth’s surface is covered in water? If not, write that down in a safe place, so you will not forget. As such, water affords many possibilities for residence…… possibilities that are wasted by most persons’ dependence on land. Get ahead “of the curve” by considering another alternative?

Boats.
Designed for habitation.
In the water.

Imagine: all the advantages of a typical land-locked house, plus so many other advantages that go along with living on a boat. Mobility! Soothing tidal motions! Others! (See the book.) After reading “House? Boat? HOUSEBOAT!!“, you may find yourself saying, “I’m going to try living on a houseboat. It sounds great!” AND YOU WILL BE RIGHT.

]]> 27 Strangelet Opportunism: A Primer https://trvmpress.com/titles/strangelet-opportunism-a-primer/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 07:31:57 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=26 Subatomic rotation being a fundamental aspect of all non-linear egression methods, this guide seeks to delineate the role of non-charmed hadrons as accelerant and/or egression medium. Also included is a generalized survey of strangelet capture in a technologically-challenged environment, as preferred means of motive quark “bridling” are largely unavailable in most suboptimal localities. Quantum processor alternatives are discussed, appended with a comprehensive, but not exhaustive, list of infrangible construction materials and components, ranked according to indices of procurability and substitutive efficacy.

]]> 26 Cochlear Jive & You https://trvmpress.com/titles/cochlear-jive-you/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 07:08:37 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=21 “KROVVY!”

Yo dee ho, pardner. Hunker down with me on this here chic-le-hou’re* and do me the kindness of a ponder: y’ever notice how some people use words you “ain’t heard afore”? And not just human persons from foreign lands ––––– who are speaking entirely different kinds of languages with their mouths and brains ––––––, but real live US of Americans, often from parts of the nation-state that are far away from your own, ya dig? The reason is obvs (obvious): they’re using slang, jargon, or another poetical subspecies of English. Slangs and jargons and the others are just like real languages, only you don’t know them. Why? Because you aren’t affiliated with the appropriate sociocultural clique(s). BUT NOW YOU CAN.

Know all the slangs and jargons with “Cochlear Jive & You“.
Cockney, Cowboy, Pig Latin, Oulipo, Boston, Screwball Comedy, Sportscaster, Lunfardo, Beatnik, Hippie, Jive (official), Nadsat, Citizens Band Radio, 1970s (generic). AND NOW UPDATED WITH Valley Girl, Punk (cyber/steam/gutter/”funk-“/splatter), “Breakdance Talk”, Yuppee, Jazzercise (with gestures), Chat-Room, Emo (sadsack and Phillips-head), Mamet, 1337, STEM, Ruby, and Snoot.

All are listed in their entirety for easy perusal (may require amplifying optics for comprehension, like eyeglasses or opaque projectors (NOT INCLUDED).) No matter what lingo a cat** might be “laying down”, you will hear and KNOW the communicated intention…… “Tea for the tillerman”!!!

Take it from this “gray lady down”, “Cochlear Jive & You” is the guide to slangs that is guaranteed “basic”. Don’t know what that means? READ THE BOOK

“SOLID”

*”Chicken-leg house-replica”.
** Not an actual cat, but a slang term for a person; cats lack the ability to vocalize human speech – please make a note of this.

]]> 21 The Compleat Truckign [sic] https://trvmpress.com/titles/the-compleat-truckign-sic/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 07:02:49 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=20 Whether you consider yourself a truckist, a trucker, or a trucking chap, you know that trucking is not just an art…… or a science…… but an admixture of both art and science that requires a truck. No one human brain can encompass the vast knowledge that is “truckign”, so TRVM Press has created this comprehensive pamphlet, so that truckists of all ages can truck without wondering “Am I really truckign?” All uncertainty is eliminated, all debate resolved. The sum total of truckign knowledge is contained herein, for the well-salted “ol'” trucker or the casual observing driver first learning the sweet taste of blacktop and diesel (so sweet). An aid to all those who adhere, admire, or infringe on the truckign lifestyle, “The Compleat Truckign [sic]” is a veritable Holy Bible King James Version of all things TRUCK.

Like a precious gem, this tome is small and valuable; like a dog, it is a boon and loyal companion; like a napkin, you can wipe your hands with it.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW –––––– IN ONE VOLUME AT LAST –––––– THE APOTHEOSIS OF TRUCK & ALSO TRUCKIGN –––––– 

  • A Truck: What is it?
  • The limits of truckign
  • Places not to take the truck (ocean, swamp, stratosphere and more)
  • Speeds– optimal, minimal, and contra-indicated
  • All the parts of a truck
  • Operating the truck while taking pills
  • History of truckign, from the Pre-Cambrian to June 1971
  • History of truckign, from June 1971 to September 4, 1971
  • History of truckign, from September 5, 1971 to the present day
  • History of truckign, post-Event
  • Trucks and Sensuality
  • Wheels, the “feet” of trucks
  • Do trucks have souls?
  • Truck modification: the Black Arts
  • Place-settings and general etiquette for black-tie events held within trucks
  • Death rituals of the truck for truckers/ists
  • How the planet earth reclaims the mighty body of a truck to perpetuate the life cycle
  • bumper stickers and trailer dirt-art

……and at least fourteen more topics are covered!!!!

 

]]> 20 Monotremes?? YOU ARE KIDDING ME!! https://trvmpress.com/titles/monotremes-you-are-kidding-me/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 06:59:58 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=19 Islands often have the craziest animals, because their populations are isolated and become lonely.

]]> 19 Edible? NOT Edible?? TOO MUCH!! https://trvmpress.com/titles/edible-not-edible-too-much/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 06:59:35 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=18 A variety of rocks are edible, and some plants will literally kill you if you eat them. Animals too!

]]> 18 A Bird That Could Talk?? IT’S TRUE!! https://trvmpress.com/titles/a-bird-that-could-talk-its-true/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 06:59:09 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=17 The bald eagle is actually not bald ––––––– of course you knew this. But did you know that it is not covered in hair either?

]]> 17 Highway Self-Hypnosis https://trvmpress.com/titles/highway-self-hypnosis/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 06:57:58 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=16 Long hours on “the road” can seem like wasted time…… so why not put them to good use? Long-haul truckery is an ideal environment for inducing a personal and beneficial hypnotic state, for the purposes of self-improvement. Lose mass, learn a new language like French or Sanskrit or machine-language, or amplify your well-being with positive reinforcements –––––– the sky’s the limit when you make the road your personal mesmerist. What’s stopping you from trying other than the character flaws you could probably correct through trying? So try it!

]]> 16 Tactics For Sex Performance https://trvmpress.com/titles/tactics-for-sex-performance/ Wed, 06 Jan 2016 06:54:03 +0000 https://trvmpress.com/?post_type=titles&p=15 The sex act, or sexing, is the most physical way that one can have intercourse with another human person. And no one wants it to seem like it’s their first time, with not having done it before! But don’t despair –––– now there is a way of learning sex that is better…… easier…… and achieves fast, lasting results. Our “Tactics For Sex Performance” shows, through clear language and easy to follow diagrammatic illustrations, you everything you need for a pleasuring experience with any partner, regardless of configuration. Though so simple a novice could understand it, “Tactics For Sex Performance” will provide even experienced (sexperienced?!?) sexers with new perspectives and routines that are certain to invigorate, energize, and renew, as if you had never had sex before, even though you have…… that’s how you’ll be feeling! No one will doubt that you are a normal human person –––––– who has great sex –––––– once you have performed sex with them, thanks to “Tactics For Sex Performance”. Keep by your bed-side for ease of reference, or share with your significant partner as a means of bonding, both physically and emotional.

Tactics For Sex Performance

TOPICS INCLUDE:

  • Sexual Anatomy: The “Erogenous” “Zones” of the Human Form
  • Introductory Touchings
  • Accumulating hardness
  • Haptic feedback
  • The “Sound” of Sexing
  • Incorporating the Nose in the Bed-room, Albeit Erotically
  • Sexy Talk and Noises
  • Withholding “the Moment”
  • Additional Implements for Sexing
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